On my knees

I am not a big fan, or haven't been in the past, of facebook or any other technology that sends my information out into the great unknown. In the past week I have never been more thankful for the "information super highway". God has used facebook to restore things to me that I thought were lost for the better part of the rest of my life. My sister, Rebecca...

I have been talking to my brother Caleb who had found Rebecca on facebook. I decided one day to just try to reach out to her. I sent her a message, wishing her well and telling her how I have missed her. About 2 days later, I got a response. She said she had missed me and asked about my kids. She mention, briefly, that her life was hell. Thus began our whirlwind week. She confided in me that she used to cut herself and that most days she wishes she was not alive. My mother treats her like a child and she just wants a life for herself. I asked her if my mother still hit her and Rebecca became very defensive. She says they get into "tiffs" a lot but she doesn't raise a hand to her anymore. She mentioned that my mother was angry that "I put them in foster care" and that my mother would never forgive me. I have to admit, I lost my cool a little but I replied that I did not need forgiveness and that I had done the right thing. Rebecca replied that she was shaking mad at what has been going on in our family and that she didn't want to talk about it anymore. I was mad at myself for not remembering where she in in her life. She needs me and I don't need to be offended, even slightly, at what she says. I apologized and decided to just be there for my baby sister. I was thankful to God for what I could learn from my sister. I want to learn how to bring someone from a life of bondage to a life of freedom with my love and patience...so that I can show them God and He do the rest. I am ready to learn. The next morning I sent her a message about a memory we share together. I tried to keep it light hearted even when she mentioned my mother. I gave her pieces of the truth that I have learned in the past 5 years. I want to show her what this life can give her.

Today, my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number...but I answered just in case. The voice on the other end was like music...it was my baby sister. She was alone and had the chance to call me. We talked for about an hour. We caught up on some things. She is unhappy living with my mother but feels guilty for wanting to leave. She loves her, she says. I told her that when she is ready to leave to call me and I will find a place for her to go. Rebecca has a biological sister, Nieemah...a woman just as passionate about Rebecca as I. She told me of their last conversation. My mother had been lying to Nieemah about where Rebecca was during the years she was back in foster care. Nieemah showed up on my mother's doorstep 2 days after Rebecca had decided to go back home. She found out the truth that night. Sadly, Rebecca listened to my mother's manipulation and ended the relationship with her biological sister. She voiced regret over that in our conversation today. Rebecca said that if she ever wanted to leave that she had a place to go...to her sister's house!!! I had forgotten that this sister was still around. I found her husband on facebook (!!!) and wrote him asking if his wife would call me. She did and we talked for another hour. I had to fill her in on what had really happened. She was open and respectful. A good woman.

She and I both are at a loss as to where to go from here. Rebecca has a place to go but she needs to leave on her own. I had been making plans to take a train up to Pennsylvania to visit everyone at the end of March. Now, in my wildest dreams, it may (or I want it to) turn into a rescue mission. Is it possible, God, that Rebecca will be ready to leave and have her two sisters escort her? I am trying to control myself...but my heart is beating a mile a minute. Is it over soon? Will they all be safe...soon? I am on my knees praying for God to handle all this! I have seen Him weave this restoration so far....weave away God! Pray with me, won't you? Pray that the Quinn family sees a miracle. Pray that this will be the final act that sends my mother into healing...facing the truth and finding forgiveness! Pray, pray, pray!!!