I read this in a story about billionaire, Warren Buffett, today. No doubt the journalist was hoping for some stock market key to a quick fortune when she asked him what was the best advice he ever received...but that isn't what she was given. Buffet recounts the best advice he's ever received, "The power of unconditional love. I mean, there is no power on earth like unconditional love. And I think that if you offered that to your child, I mean you’re 90 percent of the way home. There may be days when you don’t feel like it, it’s not uncritical love, that’s a different animal, but to know you can always come back, that is huge in life. That takes you a long, long way. And I would say that every parent out there that can extend that to their child at an early age, it’s going to make for a better human being." WOW!!! This from a man who can give his kids ANYTHING they ever had a small want for but he would rather enrich them with love. he would rather build their character than their collection of toys.
Buffet comments that his own father loved him unconditionally. I understand (I mean a seriously bitter understanding) that being shown a love like this makes it a HELL of a lot easier to give it away. We know that Jesus allowed Himself to be beaten and nailed to a cross because He would rather Himself die than any of us...we can know that but do you ever wish you could have seen Jesus? I do!! I WISH I could have been one of those children running to sit as close as I could to Jesus. I WISH I could have felt His Fatherly touch on my face. I know, I know I can return to be "like a child" but don't say it to me! I can NEVER get a second chance to be a little girl! I can never go back and live a safe childhood. It just wasn't meant to be. Some would call me a "doubting Thomas" because I want to SEE Jesus. Don't worry, I'd rather speak my own truth than stand behind what I am "supposed" to do. I want to see Jesus. I want him to sit next to me and tell me what the truth is..I want him to be visible to my eyes...I want a picture to put in a frame to remind me of my good friend J.C.!!! But do I really want that? *sigh*No, not really. I mean, wouldn't putting Jesus in a frame somehow put a limit on Him? If I could touch him...wouldn't I eventually forget? If I could sit with him...wouldn't I eventually have to look away or say goodbye? Wouldn't that put an end to my faith? I mean isn't it my drive in life to do the best I possibly can so that I can die (in God's time...I am not suicidal!!) and LOOK out and see JESUS???
My past is what it is. As I have said before I wouldn't change it (I couldn't anyway...even though I've tried!). Would I be sitting here right now typing out these words if I was loved as a child? Nope! Would I even be able to hold company with those of you that read this? I could but it would not be the intimacy we share. So, I am good. I will take what I have and keep pressing on...bound to fail again and again...but get up, brush myself off and hope no one saw!! But seriously, I too wish I could pave the way in life for my children. I wish I could be perfection for them. I wish I was a billionaire so they would want for nothing. I KNOW I try to make up for my low self esteem as a mother when I buy my kids things they don't really need. Truth is, they forget about those things within a millisecond of receiving them...and then I am left to "prove" my worth again. Prove it to whom? They don't understand what I am doing! Will a pretty doll make Maddies "owie" go away next time? Not at all...but mommy's kiss will. Will Eli's new Buzz Lightyear shirt comfort him when he wakes up in the middle of the night? Nope, but mommy's hugs will. Bottom line, my kids know where to run when they are hurt or scared. They can't run to me when they are 30 and fall off of something (Eli will most likely still be climbing things when he is that age!)! But they will know it is safe to cry, it is safe to be angry, it is safe to go to someone you love...and a whole bunch of other things I cannot understand as the messed up person I am (lol!). Love will fill the holes. God promises us this...I don't often see how love can bypass my craziness but...I have to believe the God who let his own son leave home knowing the only way he'd see him again was after his son had died a gruesome death JUST so God could usher me into heaven someday. I can't wake up in the morning and think if I hug and kiss my kids that I no longer have to sort through the crap I wade in from the past. THAT would not be love. I am saying that I will fail. I will lose my temper. I will (and do) raise my voice. If I have laid a foundation of love...and prove it again and again, love will cover the mistakes and my kids will be whole human beings. On that day mom will take a looooooong nap! Unconditional love is exhausting and a little messy!!
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